


To lose sleep

by destielsuperwholockbandhoorah



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-04-11 16:59:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4444421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielsuperwholockbandhoorah/pseuds/destielsuperwholockbandhoorah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the only thing you need in all the world is to be in the arms of the one you love. Castiel wishes he could have that right about now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To lose sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really tired and it is past midnight and that summary is shit and doesn't really make sense and I'm sad and really missing someone and I really really need a hug but instead this nerds can live my life for me as always so here you go I hope you enjoy it <3

Cas rolled over restlessly in the dark, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and balling his fists in his comforter of his bed. He released all the tension with a quick, weary sigh and let his eyes fall open. He fumbled around on his nightstand for his phone, finding it and squinting at the harsh brightness of it as he opened and unlocked it.

He knew Dean was still awake. About half an hour ago, Cas had told him that he was going to sleep, and they had said goodnight to each other, the “I love you”s they had exchanged, still bright in Cas’s memories. But he couldn’t fall asleep.

This thing with Dean… it was something he had never dreamed possible, for so long, but a few months ago, everything about his world had shifted, changed, made room for the most amazing person that Cas had ever known.

He’d loved Dean first. That was true. And every time that Dean said he loved him too, it was a whole new little feeling of wonder that ran through Castiel. It would never get old. At least, Cas hoped it wouldn’t. Sometimes he still found himself doubting those words, that “I love you too.” There was no reason to, and he didn’t want to, but he couldn’t help it. It was still so hard to believe that anyone could love him back like that.

But they didn’t get to see each other that often, busy schedules and school stuff and some strict parent policies and such. And, well that was particularly painful. Especially on nights like this, where the whole world ached, and his chest burned and all he wanted was to wrap himself up in Dean’s arms and fall asleep with him like that. The thought of it was both beautiful and painful.

_Hey_ , Cas sent, and watched the message say read, and that Dean was replying.

_Hey, why are you up?_

_Couldn’t sleep._

_That sucks. Anything you wanna talk about?_

Cas sighed and rolled over onto his stomach, letting his face be momentarily buried in his pillow, before he pulled himself out of it and just said what he wanted to say.

_I wish you were here._

The response was quick. _I wish I could be there with you, too._

_Can you come here and hug me._ Cas made a small distressed noise as he sent that, feeling the ache in his chest increase.

_I will run over there right now and come and hug you forever._

Cas smiled, cradling his phone in his hands and letting out another sad sigh, feeling his eyes burn with tears wanting to be shed. _I wish you could._

_Yeah._ Was the only answer he got, and Dean said nothing else. Cas rolled all the way onto his back and held his phone up above him, staring at the screen and waiting for Dean to say something else. He smiled faintly as he typed out a little sad, crying emoji and sent it. A minute or so later, Dean answered it with a heart, and Cas smiled again, but a little bigger.

He was just about done waiting, and was going to tell Dean goodnight for the second time that night, when he got a message.

_Yes, Dean?_

_Do you wanna maybe come and open your front door? It’s cold as fuck out here_

Cas’s eyes widened and he blinked a few times at the words, then squinted, trying to decide if it was real or if his tired, hopeful mind was playing tricks on him. Then all at once he dropped his phone and threw the covers off, making his way to the front door as quickly as he could through the house. He opened it to see Dean was shifting his feet around on the welcome mat, a shy grin on his face, arms hunched around himself.

“You idiot!” Cas gasped, grabbing Dean by the sleeve of his shirt and pulling him inside, before shutting the door quickly again, and then turning to envelop Dean in a tight hug. “You’re freezing,” he mumbled into Dean’s shoulder, as Dean reached up to hug him back just as tightly.

“Yeah I didn’t plan this too well. Didn’t even grab a jacket. Just got up and left.” Dean laughed sheepishly. “About halfway here I got really worried that this was a freaking awful idea.”

“It was,” Cas told him, but there was no conviction in his voice. Dean’s arms were firm and tight around him, and Dean was in his arms as well, and Dean had been an idiot, but the moment still felt perfect.

“Oh really? Should I just go then?” Dean said, and he was joking, Cas could tell, but there was also the uncertainty and fear and worry underneath, that made Cas make sure that the joke about that would go no further.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” Cas leaned into him more, and sighed happily as Dean leaned back, fingers tightening in the back of Cas’s shirt, breath warm on his next. Cas thought he could feel Dean’s heartbeat against his chest, though that may have been his own. Or it was both. Cas liked to imagine their heart beating in sync.

He felt a light kiss to his temple, and smiled a little wider. “So am I,” Dean whispered, and Cas felt some of the tension draining out of Dean’s back, where it was under Cas’s hands.

They curled up in the corner of the couch for a while, wrapped in each other as tightly as possible, talking some, but mostly quiet, savoring every moment they got to spend in the other’s arms. Dean warmed up quickly, his hands warm as they ran along Cas’s back or though his hair, or held onto him tightly. Cas never once stopped smiling, and took every chance he had to look at Dean in the soft moonlight coming in through the blinds on the windows of the front room of his house. He was beautiful, he was everything.

Cas wasn’t sure how many times the words “I love you” fell from his lips, all he knew was that Dean returned them every time, and the look in his eyes, the shape of his voice, his hands around Cas’s back, it left no room for doubt anymore, and Cas found himself believing it with all he was for the first time. It was the best feeling in the world, he thought, to love another and know that, truly, your love is returned in full.

It was getting to be around four or so in the morning, before they decided it was probably best that Dean went home. They were yawning to hard to function, hardly, and couldn’t keep their eyes open. Cas unwillingly disentangled himself from Dean, his arms and legs feeling a bit cold from the loss of contact, But he swallowed it down. Getting to be with Dean like that for so long, no worries in the world, just the two of them on their own, that had reminded him why it was all worth it.

“Are you going to be alright?” Cas asked with a yawn, standing with Dean in the doorway, the only light from the moon and from the weak porch light above them.

Dan smiled. “The cold wakes me up enough. I’ll be okay.”

“You better.” Cas wrapped his arms around himself, trying to hold in the feeling and the warmth Dean had left behind.

“I’ll text you when I get back, okay?” Dean stepped forward to hug Cas one more time.

“Yes,” Cas replied, yawning again.

Dean pulled back, leaving a feather-light kiss on Cas’s lips and starting to walk down the walkway. “Seeya later Cas, love you.”

Cas smiled, with a small and rather awkward wave. “Love you too.”

He stood there, shivering slightly, until Dean turned the corner and was lost from what little sight there was on the dimly lit street. He was glad Dean didn’t live too far from him. For many reasons.

After another moment, a large shiver went down his spine, and he quickly closed the door, made his way back to his room, and burrowed under the covers, grabbing his phone and waiting for Dean to tell him he got home okay.

A few minutes later, he got, _Im home and in bed nad about to pass out I am do tored_

Cas yawned once again. _Same. Goodnight, Dean. I love you. Sleep well._

_You too Cas I love you too_

Cas smiled and quickly fell asleep right there, only a small while before the sun rose.

 

 

He slept in only a little bit, and woke up really tired, bags under his eyes, yawning, puffy eyes and all. But despite any of that, he was happy, and he felt better than he had in a long while.

A little while later, his phone beeped with a text.

_Morning Cas. You tired?_

_Very. But I wouldn’t change any of it._

And then, as an afterthought, Cas sent with a smile, _You’re my favorite reason to lose sleep._


End file.
